|
January 27, 2002, Washington DC Amidst cheers of "Goddess is great" from several thousand well-wishers, President Hillary Rodham today declared a national state of emergency arising from a "domestic violence crisis in our nation." Rodham stated that new federal arrest-on-sight police powers, a universal male abuse registry, imposition of a male-only "domestic violence tax", and establishment of a blue ribbon panel to conduct a feasibility study on the DV chip (for implantation of monitoring and penalty-enabling circuits in the brains of all male newborns), are all "perfectly within the bounds of established legal precedent," owing to the fact that "violence against women is so prevalent it has become an issue of National Security." Rodham further hinted that continued male aggression in the home might necessitate permanent imposition of martial law. When pressed to explain the connection between domestic violence and national security, Rodham deferred the question pending consultation with FBI director Janet Reno, but alluded to the repercussions of last year's Reaffirmartive Action executive order as a possible cause. That order resulted in the demotion of most men with management positions in the public sector. Coming on the heels of the Domestic Partners Mutual Sexual Gratification Act, there has been widespread speculation that many men have displaced anger from a loss of self-esteem. Rodham touted a pilot program in Massachusetts as an example of how local communities can contribute to solving the problem. Lesbian and Gay Partners Outreach, the pet program of Massachusetts Governess Marjorie Clapprood, originated in Northampton and has since spread to other communities in the Bay State. The program provides mentors to assist sexually handicapped heterosexual couples in resolving problems in their relationships. |
July 4, 2005, Washington DC Proclaiming that the "Era of Victimization has finally come to end," President Brown announced the establishment of Realignment Day, commemorating the tragedy that happened on this day five years ago in Boston, Mass. Before an audience of several thousand well-wishers in the Capital, Brown recalled how five years ago a coalition of pro-family, father's rights, and several religious organizations converged in Boston for a "Day of Prayer for the Destruction of the American Family." The tragic events resulting from the brutal response of local law enforcement-the State House fire, the death of three people and numerous casualties, and several millions of dollars of property damage-launched the movement since called The Great Purge. Those events resulted in a socio-political firestorm that swept the entire nation. Within weeks, state governments across the nation had no choice but to buckle under the overwhelming tide of public opinion that insisted government reverse all policies of intrusion into the family. Brown noted that in the past five years, which have seen the most sweeping government reform in the nation's history, all indicators of the public welfare have improved. Divorce rates have declined for the fifth consecutive year, as have the number of AFDC households. Teen violence, drug use, and pregnancy have also continued to decline. The President attributed this to the Parental Equal Rights and Responsibility Act, and "the public demand for an end to the social engineering of the past two decades." Both of these were "instrumental in excising social crusading, victim-feminist agendas from government, replacing them with a restoration of fundamental civil liberties in all family issues." |