Stuart Miller
Washington¾ Undisclosed White House officials expressed delight over the prospect of the amount of child support that could be collected through the assistance of cloning.
"Dolly," the first ever adult cloned mammal, has inspired child support collection officials who are expected to heavily lobby Ethics and Human Rights committees to make exceptions for human cloning of fathers who are behind in their child support.
Officials are hoping to be given administrative authority to order fathers to relinquish DNA samples for cloning. "This way, even fathers with minimum wage jobs can produce more income for women and children," said one official, "because technically, all of the clones would be responsible for support."
Opponents say this is just an effort for the administration to try to justify the $34 billion lie they promulgated in 1992. Elaine Sorenson of the Urban Institute was commissioned by Health and Human Services to conjure up a fictitious amount of child support that "could" be collected, based on the concept that all fathers are fully employed, have only one child, and all start paying child support at the birth of the child, based on the highest guidelines in the country. "The only way they could come close to qualifying the $34 billion number," said one opponent, "would be to clone employed, non-disabled fathers who don't have any drug, alcohol, psychological, educational or job-skill difficulties."
Further, there are no laws anywhere in the country that require that child support be spent on the children," said another opponent, "this is just more malarkey from the anti-father/anti-family forces at the Maternal Revenue Service... or is it?"