This is a response to the gigantic and ground-breaking reporting of Kate
Zernike in the Globe on Tuesday, May 19, 1998. It was posted on a father's list today.

Subject: Mass Fatherhood News: A western Mass letter

Hello all,

I just had the Globe story mailed to me.  It is truly amazing.  Thank you
to all who had any part in this.  It is just incredible.

The following letter of mine ran in the Greenfield Recorder.  This paper covers Franklin, and
some of Berkshire and Hampshire counties.  It is a very small step in this part of the state.


Lost Fatherhood


We hear too many stories of children committing horrific crimes against
each other and society in general. All too often the most common response
is what's wrong with these kids today or these kids have no respect for
anyone or anything. In my opinion, too much emphasis is put on what to do
with these kids after the fact. I firmly believe that there is a tremendous
amount that can be done before these kids are affected for the rest of
their lives.

I believe that the lack of fathers is a major problem in today's society.
Some fathers choose to shirk their responsibilities to their children by
not supporting them emotionally, or financially. Fathers, who fight to
remain a force in their children's lives like myself, and many, many
others, are forced into these unbearable situations by our current probate
system.

In my particular situation, I pay 42 percent of my net income to my former
wife, and am entitled to see my children four days a month. There is a
court order in affect granted to my ex-wife that prohibits me from having
telephone contact with my children. I have been told these calls are to
disruptive to her, her new husband, and my children. I ask you, how can I
instill any of my morals and beliefs in my children four days a month?
Unfortunately, this seems to be the rule of thumb in the probate process.
In the beginning, I attempted to get shared physical custody of my
children. My ex-wife and I would split each week. This was not acceptable
to her. She demanded that I only have visitation every other weekend. I
went from being a father to having my children visit me before my very
eyes. I went against my attorney's advice and offered to pay full child
support guidelines and have shared physical custody.

My former wife informed me that this would not be possible, that I would be
developing a pattern of custody. I did not choose to lose my rights as a
father. I fought for more time, spent about $25,000, and today I see my
children four days a month.

It is time for the courts to hear and respect fathers who do not wish to be
on their politically correct Deadbeat Dad poster. I pay my support every
week, on time, and still fight to see my children for four days a month.
Fathers go into Probate Court with a strike against them before they get
started. My children want to spend more time with me and I with them, but
this does not seem important to anyone. I refuse to go away quietly. I am
staying as close to my children as I can. My hope is that in the future,
they will be able to make up their minds as to where they want to spend
their time.

I plead to the courts of the Commonwealth, give these kids
their fathers back. They need them. It is crucial for these children to
have meaningful relationships with their fathers. The courts are creating
Throwaway Dads, and our children cannot risk this for their future.

STEPHEN   MAHONEY
Heath, MA